Like any other day I opened the door and barged in. But today was different. Today I realized that the moment the hinge on the door turns my eyes start searching for you. Today was just another ordinary day, yet so different. Since when had you become my lighthouse?
When did you become my lighthouse?
Was it when we sat on breezy terraces on summer mornings to watch the sun usher in the day?
Was it when we lay down on dew covered lawns on cold autumn nights to gaze at the stars shooting across the arm of the Milky Way?
Or was it on the bright spring day when the wind was singing the tune of the mountains and we were standing on the porch staring into the valley?
Was it those hot summer evenings when you taught me how to ride a bike?
Or was it the foggy winter nights when we sipped hot coffee and discussed poetry and life?
I plummet from the enchanted planes of my memory to reality and finally manage to find, among familiar strangers, a place to sit. My day is ordinary again.
Words on the screen engulf me. I follow word after word, trailing someone's thoughts , like a wanderer amidst the woods. I wonder how many people have been on this road before? What baggage were they carrying? Did they see the same things I saw?
I look up to see if you are thinking of the same things as me, which you usually never are, but you know I always look anyway. Then suddenly, the empty chair reminds me that you are no longer here.
Remember when we sat on those seemingly unending stairs talking about how I was meant to be there with you? Was it then my heart and mind decided that you are my lighthouse? Or was it when you checked to see if I was crying as I read out lines from a play? Or the endless times you offered me a tissue as I silently wept at the numerous things that touched me?
But I have been thinking? Are you really my lighthouse or just a spot to my pirouette? Or maybe just a force of habit..
Murmurs and whispers surround me like the white noise of the sea. Turbulent, roaring passionate waves kiss the shore that waits to be washed away into nothingness...
